New research has highlighted a gap between how much control parents believe they have over their children’s online experiences and the reality of how young people use digital services.

Three studies published by the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) suggest children are developing increasingly complex digital lives from a young age, while parents can struggle to keep pace as they become older and more independent.

An online survey of more than 4,000 children aged eight to 17 and their parents found that 36% of children talk or play with people they know only online, or do not know at all. Among children aged 14 to 16, this rises to 40%.

The research also found that more than half of children, 52%, said they would find a way to bypass age checks if they wanted to access a platform or service.

This increased to 64% among children whose parent had previously helped them circumvent an age limit, with 31% of parents saying they had done so.

The findings were published alongside the ICO’s latest children’s strategy update, which outlines the impact of regulatory action on online services.

Since April 2024, the regulator estimates that changes introduced across several high-profile platforms have helped protect close to five million child users.

The update follows the launch of its Switched on to privacy campaign earlier this year, which is intended to give parents practical tools and guidance for discussing online privacy with their children before potentially risky habits become established.

Parental controls offer incomplete picture

The research also suggests that parents who actively monitor their children’s online activity may still be missing parts of their digital lives.

While 91% of parents said they use parental controls or monitoring tools, 41% of children reported having tried to circumvent them.

Of those who had attempted to bypass the controls, almost half, 49%, said they found it easy to do so.

The findings suggest parental controls can play a role in protecting children online, but may not provide parents with complete oversight as children become more technologically capable and their online behaviour changes.

Separate in-depth interviews with 30 children aged eight to 17 and their parents also explored the emotional dynamics surrounding online privacy and monitoring.

Many parents described feeling resigned rather than empowered, balancing a desire to give children greater independence against a reliance on digital visibility for reassurance.

Location sharing was described in the research as a “digital umbilical cord”, with some families viewing data collection as a necessary trade-off for the reassurance of being able to see where their children are.

The research highlighted one example involving an eight-year-old boy, Theo, who agreed to share precise geolocation data with 141 vendors and 71 advertising partners without understanding what he was consenting to.

“I just pressed consent…It’s just to get it away… I don’t know [what consent means], but I think it means close. It just stops it [the pop-up].”

Most parents involved in the research also found maintaining controls challenging, particularly as their children became older and more independent and discovered new methods of circumventing restrictions.

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The ICO said the findings underline the importance of beginning conversations about online privacy while children are young, rather than waiting until they reach secondary school.

The research found that children who discuss online privacy with their parents every week are more likely to feel that privacy settings help keep them safe.

Katie Searle, ICO Director of Children’s Strategy, said: “Children today are growing up in an extraordinary digital world, and it’s completely understandable that many parents feel like they’re one step behind.

“The findings are clear: children who discuss online privacy with their parents on a weekly basis are more likely to feel that privacy settings keep them safe. Frequent, open conversation works.

“Our Switched on to privacy campaign is here to help families find their footing – not by switching everything off, but by staying curious, staying connected, and checking in regularly.”